I am thrilled by the Republican primaries so far, despite hating most of the candidates. In fact, it is because they are so despicable that I am so thrilled. Well, hold on a second - if they were as competent as they are despicable, I would be quite concerned. Fortunately they are instead running around like a bunch of homophobic chickens with their heads cut off.
The one who just strait made up lies about life saving vaccines causing mental retardation has dropped out. The 1 percenter candidate with the money to buy enough independent votes to win a general election may not be able to rally the Republican base of religious zealots because he wears magic underwear. There is one truly crafty politician among them - he would have to be to preside over Bill Clinton's impeachment whilst simultaneously cheating on his wife - but worry not. He doesn't want the nomination; he is being paid to look like he wants it. He gives out made up awards, makes up fake "foundations" and campaigns for things for a living. His campaign war chest was never anything but his personal piggy bank and he will drop out when he starts to get diminishing returns on his effort...
... but not before touching off a powder keg war of attack ads just like he promised not to do. Now the fake libertarian you aren't allowed to criticise on the internet and the frothy one with the you can't help but make fun of are going at it, too.
Newt is right about one thing, though. The only candidate this helps is Barack Obama. 4 more years are virtually guaranteed at this point! ^_^